I LOVE CATCHING PEOPLE SMILING AT THEIR PHONES BECAUSE IS IT A CUTE TEXT?? IS IT PORN???? WHO KNOWS BUT I’M GLAD YOU’RE HAPPY FRIEND
WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS BLOG CONTAINS ”ADULT LANGUAGE”!!!! PLEASE UNFOLLOW IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE WORDS SUCH AS, ‘BRIEFCASE’, ‘MORTGAGE’, ‘ECONOMY’ OR ‘OFFICE’
this actually makes sense.
people go ‘why does God let bad things happen?’
its because while some poor bastards are being herded into a mass grave somewhere God is busy making sure Kathy in Dunghole, Wisconsin has exactly the right amount of milk for her recipe.
you gotta pick your battles
According to chemistry, alcohol IS a solution.
you fucked up
My six pack has arrived due to laughter
HELLO FANFIC AUTHORS IT’S TIME FOR A VOCAB LESSON
- wanton: sexually immodest or promiscuous
- wonton: a type of dumpling commonly found in Chinese cuisines
YOUR CHARACTERS SHOULD NOT BE MOANING LIKE A CHINESE DUMPLING OKAY THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT
"TUMBLR HAS TAUGHT ME MORE THAN SCHOOL EVER DID!!" the blogger cries. suddenly, the ground shakes. the blogger is going to forget everything school taught them; its gone. they’re shaking, crying, they can’t read. they can’t comprehend the world around them; what are colours, numbers, letters? but no worry, they can make infinite chocolate